I got up Sunday morning, thinking I would go to the grocery store while it was early and peaceful and wouldn’t be packed. I hate going to the grocery store and do my level best to avoid going when other people will be there. So, at 7am I pull into my little small town grocery store and stare in shock at the half full parking lot. First, I am flabbergasted, then annoyed, and finally, rather amused.
Before me is a parking lot of bedlam. I have never actually seen a man move toward a store with anything resembling speed, unless it was Cabela’s. There are men pulling in, jumping out of their vehicles, and if not actually running, at the very least they were speedwalking into the store. Then there are the gentlemen who ARE running out of the store, arms full of flowers, some dragging small children along behind them. Apparently, this holiday snuck up on them, regardless of the fact that it’s been coming all year. Again. The bad thing about TIVO is that it allows you to fast forward through commercials. If any of them actually had to watch commercials this last month, they might have remembered that Mothers Day was coming.
Other than myself and the cashiers, there was not another woman in that store. I was checking out the mens purchases as they were leaving, and every one of them, without exception, was carrying flowers, chocolate and stuffed animals, or any combination of those items. I must admit that at that time I was rather disappointed in these guys. I mean, yes, they are now making the frantic effort to not get caught forgetting to worship the women who spawned their offspring. What better way to say “Hey, thanks for the 9 months of morning sickeness and 20 hours of labor” than with a polyester, made in China, stuffed teddy bear that was purchased simply because it was the first thing closest to the doors that looked like a gift. Honestly.
Still shaking my head, I walked through the doors and was immediately greeted by a young man, who dashed over, held out a carnation and while handing it to me, asked if I was a mother. I replied no, at which point HE TOOK MY FLOWER BACK!!!! I literally felt my ovaries shrivel up and dry out. Apparently I do not rate a 10 cent carnation due the fact that my loins have not been productive. The poor guy was very flustered. Apparently nobody told him what to do if a woman said she was not a mother. So then I felt the need to justify why I am not a mother, being that women are supposed to have children.
I guess Mother’s Day isn’t just hard on the men.